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Through the looking glass: recapping freshman year

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Freshman year doesn’t always turn out the way you think it should. Just ask Krisha Amin.

Freshman year doesn’t always turn out the way you think it should. Just ask Krisha Amin.

Muqit Asif Khan

Muqit Asif Khan

Freshman year doesn’t always turn out the way you think it should. Just ask Krisha Amin.

Krisha Amin, Web Editor

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Introductions have never been my forte. They are some the most strenuous elements of writing to compose. I have this illustrious notion of what all of my introductions should be like — a neat and creaseless red bow wrapped around a present foreshadowing the same uniformity underneath all of the metallic wrapping — but I’ve learned that the best introductions aren’t meant to encircle monumental structure.

Likewise, freshman year of college was no exception to my so-called list of horrendous and difficult introductions.

To be blunt, I did not enjoy a large portion of my freshman year of college. I kept convincing myself, my parents, my brother, my friends back home, friends I made here and strangers that I was enjoying myself, but it was no cakewalk. I could be high off of laughter one moment and a house of cards could come crashing down the next. In those euphoric moments, I would forget the bad times, and during those bad times, it was hard to recall the happy times.

That’s something they don’t tell you when you first unpack all of the goodies in your dorm; it’s almost always the romantic ideology, “you’ve entered the gateway to the best four years of your life,” or some dumb advice that is far too vague to purposely implement, such as “learn to be responsible,” “try new things,” and “make mistakes.”

During freshman year, I was definitely too caught up in curating the “perfect” college experience based on my preconceived notions of right and wrong.

I saw every missed opportunity to make new friends or to attend an event as a validation for not measuring up to my predestined college mantra. It was a consistent pressure cooker feeling.

As I am on the verge of beginning my sophomore year, I realize that a large part of this feeling was due to the fact I wasn’t the person that I had wanted to be.

The solutions to all of my trifling “problems” are all too obvious in hindsight. It all goes back to that seemingly dumb advice of how you should learn to be responsible, engage an open mind, and try new things. The advice isn’t a cause and effect scenario but an utterly individual experience we all have to undergo ourselves in order to understand.

Therefore, it only makes sense to give myself some “dumb” advice:

College is analogous to freedom. You learn to organically define yourself and test your capacities within this realm. So, don’t compose a laundry list as if you need to fall squarely into place.

Have an open mind. Don’t make rash judgements about another person’s character because they come from a vastly different background than yours; everyone has a compelling story.

Call yourself a feminist and be proud of it. Have an opinion on every issue. Be sorry and don’t be sorry. If you have haters, then good; it means you are doing something right with your life.

Cry on your brother’s sofa every once in awhile because you’re human; it’s OK. Don’t forget to call home. Remedy your mistakes and learn to apologize for your wrongs because no one is perfect.

Get high off of a box of Double Stuf Oreos. Get drunk off chicken on “Fried Chicken Wednesdays” at the “caf.” Freshman fifteen is your frenemy.

Just because you didn’t get a leadership position does not mean you aren’t a leader. Make rebellious choices but at your own accord. Become friends with a police officer; you’ll love it.

If you want to want to pack 53 pairs of shoes into your dorm closet, then do it.

Lastly, remember that you are not alone in this odyssey.

Water always finds its own level. Sure, I can be around 50 plus people in a room and feel internally alone sometimes, but my experience isn’t a lone one.

We all shrink our insecurities and vulnerabilities down into innocuous little sayings or gestures.

We all are a part of this hedonistic Narnia and sooner or later, we have to step out of the closet and come to terms with our actions and feelings. It’s a rite of passage. Being lost is inevitable, and we all suffer from the duck syndrome, looking composed on the outside but desperately anxious on the inside.

Looking back on my freshman year, I guess that age old mantra that reads something along the lines of college being the best years of your life is not far from center. Sure, there are ups and downs, but that’s life; you figure out your true “self” within the contexts of all of the virtues and vices in this world.

Freshman year is all kind of poetic. It is through this “freshman” medium that the bubble of our so-called intelligence bursts, revealing all that we are and all that we are meant to become. So yeah, I genuinely cannot wait for the next three years of this experience.

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Through the looking glass: recapping freshman year